When people picture RV life, they imagine coffee brewing, sinks running, showers steaming, and someone casually washing blueberries at the counter.
What they don’t picture is a grown woman brushing her teeth with a Dixie cup and a man proudly announcing, “The bucket is ready.”
Welcome to our current season of Golf Wife RV Life.
Because while our Alliance 340RL is officially home… she is not officially hydrated.
We’ve got her fully winterized until February — which means no running water, no sinks, no showers, no flushing of anything ever. And yet… here we are. Living. Thriving. Improvising. Laughing. And only slightly questioning our life choices.
💧 The Great Water Situation
Our new plumbing system is called:
“The Gallon Jug Era.”
We keep jugs of fresh water everywhere. Kitchen. Bathroom. Bedroom. Car. Random corner. Probably one under the bed. Each time we need water, someone announces:
“I’ll get the jug.”
Like it’s a quest.
Brushing Teeth: The Cup Olympics
Forget running the tap.
Now it’s:
- Pour water into cup
- Dip toothbrush
- Brush
- Spit into another cup
- Carefully walk that cup like it’s nuclear waste to dump it outside
Some days we feel like pioneers.
Some days we feel like raccoons with dental hygiene.
Pro tip:
If you’re feeling fancy, warm the water in the microwave first.
Instant spa.
🚽 The Bathroom… Situation
Our current bathroom setup is what I like to call:
“The Bucket & Dignity System.”
We use a Portable Emergency Toilet Seat snapped onto a 5-gallon bucket for going #1.
It’s… surprisingly comfortable.
And incredibly humbling.
You learn real quick:
- Aim is important
- Timing is everything
- Privacy is a suggestion
We keep it lined, freshened, handled like a sacred object.
Do not disrespect the bucket.
🍽 Dishes Without a Sink
We wash dishes like people in the 1800s:
- Heat water in the kettle
- Pour into a bin
- Wash
- Rinse with jug
- Dry like champions
No faucet.
No drain.
Just vibes.
🧼 Bonus Survival Tricks
Here are some things no one puts in RV brochures:
- Baby wipes = full body spa
- Dry shampoo = emotional support aerosol
- Paper plates = marriage savers
- Hand sanitizer = personality trait
- “We’ll shower later” = lifestyle philosophy
❤️ Why We’re Laughing Through It
Is it inconvenient? Yes.
Is it ridiculous? Absolutely.
Is it temporary? Thank goodness.
But it’s also kind of perfect.
Because while our Alliance 340RL is parked, cold, and waiting for her plumbing glow-up in February…
we’re already building stories inside her.
And honestly?
Some of the best memories don’t involve running water.
They involve teamwork, laughter, and a shared understanding that this is our chapter.
Even if it currently smells faintly of disinfectant wipes and ambition.